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You know how we girls always complain about there not being enough adequate men for us? Well I finally figured out why this may be true.. We’ve been about the whole business completely wrong! Now I understand why this news is going to be kind of lost on us, obviously we missed our chance. But don’t worry, it is now our job to pass this message along to the younger generations, in hope that they will have better luck than the rest of us and catch on early.
Now girls, remember that stage in your life where you’d finally started to mature? This can be anywhere from 12-14 years old. Well do you remember how during this time, when you noticed yourself becoming more mature, the boys still seemed the same as when they were 8 or 9 years old? Well unfortunately ladies, this was our opportune moment. The time when you’d become.. well just more.. but the boys hadn’t changed a bit, was your time to strike. See I’ve recently noticed that if you don’t pick one of the litter so to speak as soon as possible, some pretty little bitch will come along and pick them up a year or two later, effectively ending all of your chances and closing your window of opportunity.
So here is the process: at this delicate age, you pick out the boy that you think has the best chances of becoming an attractive individual later on, latch on with the fury of a hurricane and literally just hope for the best. If you chose well in the early stages, you could end up with a handsome, intelligent and in all ways perfect mate for life. If you choose badly, well I honestly don’t wish to go down that road though I warn you it may happen.
Now that we can plainly see where we went wrong, it’s time to enlighten our younger female acquaintances and hope that someday we get lucky and accidentally stumble upon that perfect someone. By eliminating the uncertainty of ever finding someone, we can make the lives of millions of young girls easier! The rest of us just need to pray.